You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this just has baby written all over it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
