I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this will be a night to untag.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
