Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
