i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry about my life...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
