Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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