I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
