anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize