Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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