Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
