how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
