going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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