Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
