Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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