I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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