If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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