Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
