worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this will be a night to untag.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
