i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
