If i come over, it means nothing
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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