I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
