it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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