Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
