Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Damn victory sex feels great
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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