My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
