Me too!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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