We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
