How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
