So drunk its hurt
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
