Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
