So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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