No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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