I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
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Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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