I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked