Moan for me like Helen Keller
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
