My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
