I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
