everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize