I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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