im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I will pee on everything he values.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
