Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think i have herpe
just one?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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