this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
