if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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