I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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