FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
