Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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