lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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