I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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