I cannot find my penis.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
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My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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