you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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