he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize