I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
