i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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