Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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