Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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