I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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