I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.