Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
