yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.