no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
